PART TWO
Change The Way
You Think
When I was 14 years old, I was such a different person than
I am today you probably wouldn’t even recognize me. If I felt uncomfortable in
the least about anything, I would
silently start screaming at myself. I would call myself names, tauntingly ask
myself when I was going to mess up and when I invariably DID mess up (how can
you not screw up when you treat yourself that way?!) I would hate myself.
Looking back at the way I treated that poor girl, it makes me sad. I wasted so
much time!
Most of us silently talk to ourselves in a manner we would
never dream of addressing someone
else. I used to be really, really good at hating myself. I was terrified of
failure. I’m a perfectionist by nature and I allowed myself to slip into
negative self-talk, which typically goes hand in hand with insecurity.
Instinctively, I knew that if I wanted to be successful in life I couldn’t
continue on down the path of self-loathing I was on. I knew that in order to
change, I had to change the way I spoke to myself. I felt embarrassed when I
first started changing my habits. I felt stupid for trying to build myself up
which just goes to show you how insecure I really was. But I stuck with it, and
slowly but surely by changing the way I spoke to myself, I changed the way I
thought about myself.
When I would approach a situation that would make me nervous
or uncomfortable, I would tell myself, “You
can do this! And if you mess up, that’s OK Elizabeth! You’re human and by
making a mistake you have only presented yourself with another opportunity to
learn and try again!” There were
times I would lapse back into bad habits, because it’s easier to stick with
what you know than encourage change in your life, even if that change is for
good. Joel Osteen said, “Words are like seeds. If you dwell on them long
enough, they will take root and flourish.” How right he was!
Change The Way
You Talk
DO NOT talk about your struggles with insecurity on social
networking sights. Your enemies will only use that against you and your true
friends will probably already know. Talking about how unconfident you are is just
wallowing in insecurity! Tell yourself that you are a brave, confident person
and you don’t need other people’s praise to feel good about yourself. You may
not feel that way right now, but you just keep telling yourself that and pretty
soon you’ll believe it. Of course I don’t mean that you shouldn’t discuss your
life and what you’re going through in life with the people you’re close to. Of
course you should and you should value their input! All I mean is that everyone
and their mother shouldn’t know all the dirty details of your inner life. Not
everyone wants the best for you or help you grow, as unfortunate as that is.
Smile
Smile. It’s that simple. When we’re feeling insecure we
generally retreat into ourselves and focus on what’s going on inside….and we forget to smile and come across
stuck up, not friendly and insecure. When you smile you appear relaxed,
approachable and confident, even if you’re not feeling that way at all! And as
you know by now, appearing confident is half the trick!
Focus On Others
I’ve come to realize that when I start feeling insecure, I
am focusing on myself. Insecurity is basically a form of selfishness. As soon
as I feel myself starting to feel that I way, I try to focus on something
outside of Elizabeth. Get someone talking about themselves and be genuinely interested in who they are.
Before you know it you’ll be listening to what they have to say and your
insecurities will start to melt away because you’re not feeding them by giving
them attention. I’m sure you’ve heard the quote, “Feed your dreams and starve
your fears.” This applies to confidence as well! By refusing to acknowledge
your insecurity when it rears its ugly head, you are essentially starving it
and allowing confidence to grow!
Go Forth and
Conquer
You have all the tools within you to become the sparkling,
confident person that you were meant to be. You just have to access them. I
believe in you! Now run, don't walk, after your confidence Doll!
“Confidence is a decision. You will never earn it. It will
come when you decide to have it.”
xo xo Elizabeth
