Just a Little Bit of Encouragement for the Coming Week

Dear Buckaroo Barbie,

You are brave beyond your wildest dreams.

You are inspirational to the people in your life,

 And you were made to color outside the lines.

People will criticize and scrutinize you,

Because you are not like them.

And people who are not as brave as you and don’t have a passion driving their lives,

They will attack that which is different from them,

Especially if they feel you are passing them up.

Forget the haters,

The naysayers,

The gossipers

And the

Play-it-safers

You are fearfully and creatively made

You will never have a dull road to hoe,

Because you dream big and live bigger.

Embrace who you are.

 Embrace the cowboy

The woman

The student of life,

The artist and the romantic within you.

All the things and characteristics that make you so uniquely you,

Work in your favor towards carving out your niche in life.

Some days will be hard enough that you will wonder if life wouldn’t be easier

If you were like every one else.

Think of everything you would be missing if that were the case!

You are brave,

Inspiring,

 And they broke the mold when you were made.

Keep your chin up and keep being YOU.

You are on the right track and no one can live your life the way the you can.

Go get ‘em, tiger.

xo xo Liz 

Go From Insecure to Confident: Part Two

PART TWO

Change The Way You Think

When I was 14 years old, I was such a different person than I am today you probably wouldn’t even recognize me. If I felt uncomfortable in the least about anything, I would silently start screaming at myself. I would call myself names, tauntingly ask myself when I was going to mess up and when I invariably DID mess up (how can you not screw up when you treat yourself that way?!) I would hate myself. Looking back at the way I treated that poor girl, it makes me sad. I wasted so much time!

Most of us silently talk to ourselves in a manner we would never dream of addressing someone else. I used to be really, really good at hating myself. I was terrified of failure. I’m a perfectionist by nature and I allowed myself to slip into negative self-talk, which typically goes hand in hand with insecurity. Instinctively, I knew that if I wanted to be successful in life I couldn’t continue on down the path of self-loathing I was on. I knew that in order to change, I had to change the way I spoke to myself. I felt embarrassed when I first started changing my habits. I felt stupid for trying to build myself up which just goes to show you how insecure I really was. But I stuck with it, and slowly but surely by changing the way I spoke to myself, I changed the way I thought about myself.

When I would approach a situation that would make me nervous or uncomfortable, I would tell myself, “You can do this! And if you mess up, that’s OK Elizabeth! You’re human and by making a mistake you have only presented yourself with another opportunity to learn and try again!”  There were times I would lapse back into bad habits, because it’s easier to stick with what you know than encourage change in your life, even if that change is for good. Joel Osteen said, “Words are like seeds. If you dwell on them long enough, they will take root and flourish.” How right he was!

Change The Way You Talk

DO NOT talk about your struggles with insecurity on social networking sights. Your enemies will only use that against you and your true friends will probably already know. Talking about how unconfident you are is just wallowing in insecurity! Tell yourself that you are a brave, confident person and you don’t need other people’s praise to feel good about yourself. You may not feel that way right now, but you just keep telling yourself that and pretty soon you’ll believe it. Of course I don’t mean that you shouldn’t discuss your life and what you’re going through in life with the people you’re close to. Of course you should and you should value their input! All I mean is that everyone and their mother shouldn’t know all the dirty details of your inner life. Not everyone wants the best for you or help you grow, as unfortunate as that is.

Smile

Smile. It’s that simple. When we’re feeling insecure we generally retreat into ourselves and focus on what’s going on inside….and we forget to smile and come across stuck up, not friendly and insecure. When you smile you appear relaxed, approachable and confident, even if you’re not feeling that way at all! And as you know by now, appearing confident is half the trick!

Focus On Others

I’ve come to realize that when I start feeling insecure, I am focusing on myself. Insecurity is basically a form of selfishness. As soon as I feel myself starting to feel that I way, I try to focus on something outside of Elizabeth. Get someone talking about themselves and be genuinely interested in who they are. Before you know it you’ll be listening to what they have to say and your insecurities will start to melt away because you’re not feeding them by giving them attention. I’m sure you’ve heard the quote, “Feed your dreams and starve your fears.” This applies to confidence as well! By refusing to acknowledge your insecurity when it rears its ugly head, you are essentially starving it and allowing confidence to grow!

Go Forth and Conquer

You have all the tools within you to become the sparkling, confident person that you were meant to be. You just have to access them. I believe in you! Now run, don't walk, after your confidence Doll! 

“Confidence is a decision. You will never earn it. It will come when you decide to have it.”

xo xo Elizabeth

Go From Insecure To Confident: Part One

You know the feeling. Even if you swear up, down, left, right and center that you’ve never felt this way...just between you, me, and the fence post, you know you have. You walk into some event and you don’t know what to do with your hands. They feel too big for your body and everyone there is smarter, nicer and better at conversing than you. Everyone at some point has felt insecure and under qualified.

I have really good news though. You can change and you can become the most sparkling, confident and quietly awesome person that you allow yourself to be!

You know how I know this? Because I used to be the most insecure, unconfident, self-hating person I know. And I changed. If I can change, you can as well. You do have to want to change. You have to decide that you don’t want to be insecure any more and that it is only holding you back from greatness in your life. Some people talk all the time about how insecure they are but aren’t actually willing to make the change necessary to bring about results in their life. It’s easier to stick with what you know. That can be said of almost everything in life. Results demand that you step out of your comfort zone, try something new and not revert back to old habits when the going gets tough. It’s a lot easier to talk about the change you want to see than it is to actually live it.

Fake It Till You Make It

Here’s the thing that’s not very popular to say: it’s easier to tell yourself that you’re a failure than it is to try something and possibly mess it up. It takes courage to try and change parts of your character. It takes courage to try something new. Right now I want you to go ahead and tell yourself that you are brave for even thinking about doing the hard thing and that you can do this! You can!

First of all, fake it till you make it! So you’re not confident. Guess what? That’s OK. You just have to pretend that you are at first. Search out someone you know that is confident (confident, NOT cocky or blustery or a bully, there is a difference and those of us with insecurity issues can get confused), and copy the hell out of them.

Our insecurities frequently display themselves in our body language: a huge “tell” to the outside world. These are the easiest, “quick-fix” ways to can help you become more confident.  

Walk With Purpose People who are confident have a destination in mind and they walk as if they are determined to get there! Keep your chin up, look where you’re going and walk with a purpose! 

Don’t Slouch Stand up straight with your shoulders back and your chin up. Keep your hands out of your pockets and NEVER cross your arms. That is a huge sign that you’re feeling threatened or insecure. Fold your hands in your lap when you’re sitting or rest them on the arms of your chair. This is way more elegant and approachable looking to others.

Maintain Eye Contact When you’re talking to someone, look them in the eye, don’t stare off into the distance as if you were wishing that a big Mac were about to appear. Maintain eye contact with people and show that you are interested in what they are saying by paying attention to them.

Have A Good Handshake When you’re introduced to someone new, shake their hand well. Don’t present your hand like a cold, clammy fish. Your handshake says a lot about who you are. However, don’t squeeze their hand to death in a “I’m tougher, stronger and meaner than you,” sort of way either. Being overly aggressive appears just as insecure as not shaking someone’s hand, it just stems from a different place.

Dress Well Take pride in your appearance. This is a way of telling yourself and the world without having to use any words, that you matter. When you go out in public try to look as put together as possible. Maintain your hygiene, make sure your hair is washed, combed and done. This may sound silly, but scuffed or dirty shoes can make the best outfit look sloppy.

Stay Off Your Phone We frequently use our cell phones as a crutch. I read a quote the other day that said that the President of the United States is the most powerful man in the world and he doesn’t carry a phone. That really resonated with me! If you’re in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, don’t instantly retreat to your phone for security. Face what’s bothering you head on.

Educate Yourself Many times insecurity comes from ignorance, or fear of appearing ignorant. Read and educate yourself! You are in control of your education and how you appear to others.

Get Really Good At One Thing Ina Garten, also known as The Barefoot Contessa, is a fantastic example of how helpful it is to be really good at something. Before she was an internationally known chef with a television show, she was a White House nuclear policy analyst without much cooking experience. When she and her husband, Jeffery, were first married, they were supposed to have Jeffery’s boss over for dinner. The week before the boss’s arrival, Ina made the dinner she was going to serve three times as practice. Basically, she was building her confidence up and by the time the boss arrived for dinner, boy howdy you can bet she felt good about that dinner! Focus on something, be that skateboarding, horseback riding, cooking etc...and get really good at it!

The wonderful thing about confidence is that it builds upon itself. When you try something that challenges you and you see success, this bolsters your already existing confidence! Next time an opportunity presents itself, you will be even more willing to challenge yourself because of the success you saw previously. The cycle repeats itself and your bank account of confidence will grow. That's pretty awesome, if you ask me.   

Check back in tomorrow for Part Two of Going from Insecure to Confident!! 

Click HERE to follow Buckaroo Barbie!!  

xo xo Elizabeth

13 Ways To Instantly Feel and Look Pretty

Adrian and I don’t believe that feeling fancy is everything…the most important cosmetic or fashion item you can have is a beautiful heart and good character. Everything else is just background noise when it comes to these two important things.

That being said though, we’re still girls and girls like pretty things and to feel pretty. So here are some ways you can get that pretty feeling and look, right away!

Smile.

The prettiest thing any girl, or anyone for that matter, can do is smile. So smile a lot. And the bonus part about smiling a lot is that with all the smiling, you can’t help but feel happy, even if you didn’t start out the day that way.

Drink More Water.

I know I’ve said this before (to read previous post on drinking more water, click HERE), but I don’t think it can be said enough! Drinking enough water has so many health and beauty benefits it’s ridiculous….you’ll loose a little weight because you don’t feel as hungry all the time, makes your skin crazy smooth and soft, not even kidding, your lips don’t get as chapped as easily and the major plus is you just feel AMAZING!!! It was hard for me to start drinking enough water at first because I’m a coffee and tea addict and thought plain old water was a little boring but now it’s the number one thing I want to drink. I made it into a little game to see how many bottles of water I could drink…try it!

Have Good Posture.

Stand up straight. You can make a pretty girl look and feel not so pretty INSTANTLY by terrible posture! So stand up straight, keep your chin up, shoulders back and back aligned. It doesn’t have to feel stiff and ramrod straight and it will probably feel a little weird at first if you’re a sloucher, but stick with it and you’ll be glad you did! You can actually look about 5lbs less if you stand up properly, which is a great incentive! And when you sit down, make sure you carry your posture over….no curved spines and hunched shoulders!

Figure Out Your Style.

Personally, one of my least favorite feelings in the world is wearing clothes whose style I don’t like. Basically, not feeling comfortable. And when you don’t feel comfortable in your clothes you don’t feel confident in other areas and you just feel rotten. I HATE that feeling. I think it’s easier if you just figure out what your style is…some girls are naturally inclined towards a little rock’n’roll style, others like a classic style, and some have an awesomely "out there" rodeo gal style. Forget what people tell you you’re supposed to like and what you’re supposed to wear; wear what makes YOU comfortable and happy. I’ve always liked fashion, like from the time I was a little girl. And I always wore what I wanted, even when I was cowboying and some people told me I didn’t look like a cowboy. My response? Because I AM a cowboy-girl whatever the heck I decide to wear is EXACTLY what a cowboy-girl should wear!!  I like to wear anything black, skinny jeans, ankle boots, long t-shirts and blazers and leather jackets. And I need to have pockets. Once I figured that out I spent a lot less on clothes I felt like I SHOULD wear and I just feel like me. And you can’t beat that, girlfriend. So if you like to wear tutus and striped socks and cowboy boots…DO IT and don’t apologize! If you like to wear your cowboy hat and long sleeved shirt every day….DO IT and don’t apologize! Have the courage to be you, you are one of a kind and your clothes reflect that.

“Dress Shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” Coco Chanel

Eat Some Nuts.

I keep a little baggie of nuts and raisins in my purse and they’re the perfect snack/small meal because they have everything you need….protein, good carbs, good for you fats….mmm! I eat a handful every two hours and I have energy to get everything done I need to! Traveling with Adrian and going to shows means you don’t always get meals when meal time rolls around and when you’re talking to a lot of people you NEED your energy!! If you’re a college Buckaroo Barbie you could also probably use a little baggie of nuts…to keep you going during long and boring educational lectures! ;)

Wear White Eye Shadow.

This is an awesome little trick. If you want your eyes to look bigger and brighter (and seriously, who doesn’t?!), then just put a little white eye shadow in the inside corner of your eye. It works instantly. You’re welcome.

Improve Your Heart and Mind.

I don’t care how pretty you are, it doesn’t matter if you don’t something you believe in and character…then your looks are just a load of crock. Sorry, but it’s true. A pretty face with no zest for knowledge or adventure and a cause to believe in is just a mask. Study the life and writings of great men and women and apply what you’ve read to YOUR life. Find someone who you look up to and admire, a mentor, and copy the heck out of them! Believe in something and be loyal to that belief. We all have the potential to be successful and have joy in our lives, but we do have to cultivate the characteristics that will allow us to get there first.

Walk Properly

You can instantly look and feel 100 times better if you walk properly. What am I talking about? Well, how you carry yourself and how you feel about yourself is carried out through your walk. Hold your head up, look where you want to go, and then go there. Wear shoes that you can actually WALK in. Nothing is more embarrassing than a girl who is wearing heels or shoes that she just can’t walk in, she’s wobbling all over the place and you’re just hoping that she doesn’t actually fall over. Your gait is important as well. Practice walking and pretend that there is a tight rope that you’re going to walk. Place one foot directly in front of the other. You don’t need to throw your hips around, if you walk like this it naturally gives you a very pretty, feminine, fluid gait. Try it!

Be On Time

My dad always says if you’re not 15 minutes early then you’re late. I like to be about 5 minutes early and Adrian likes to be right on time. If you’re always running late you feel flustered and off balance. If you have an appointment to meet someone, be there on time. They’ll appreciate it and you will feel better about yourself.

Give Yourself A Lip Scrub

A woman’s lips are SEXY, CRAZY, AWESOME. At least in my opinion. And if they’re flaky and dry and chapped, they are not reaching their sexy, crazy, awesome potential. A very easy, free tip is to give your lips a light scrub with your toothbrush or washcloth in the morning and you instantly have smooth, soft lips! Muah!

Wear A Bra That Fits

OK, this sounds silly but it’s actually a big deal! How the ta-tas look can really affect how feel and look overall! If you’ve got big Ta-Ta’s, having a proper fitting bra can help improve your posture, how your clothes fit and reduce back and shoulder pain. If you’ve got little Ta-Ta’s, then having a bra that’s not too big for you will make you feel like a different woman. If you haven’t already, go to a professional and have a bra fitting done, you’ll be glad you did! Victoria’s Secret offers fittings for free but just make sure when they measure you you’re not wearing something padded!

Pose. A Lot.

I used to break out in a cold sweat when it came time to have my picture taken. And since my mum’s a photographer, it happened a lot. So a few sticks of deodorant late and a whole lot of not liking the way I looked in pictures, I started practicing in the mirror. I felt really stupid at first, but it paid off because when you know what the face you like “feels” like, you can just pull it out when it comes time to having your picture taken! All models do this, and they obviously know what they’re doing,!

Keep Good Company.

Last and definitely not least, the company you keep affects the beauty of your heart and mind. Have friends that inspire and uplift you and constantly challenge you to be the very best YOU that you can be. The state of your heart affects everything else and someone is dragging the beautiful you down into ugliness, move on and find some better company that appreciates your beautiful self.

xo xo Liz

Photos via tumblr and Adrian Brannan