It's Not Like The Movies

I was going to post an awesome beauty post today, but to be completely honest, I had the worst day that I’ve had in…I don’t even know how long. Usually when I have a rough day I work out harder and longer, smile wider, laugh more and pretend that nothing is wrong in an effort to trick myself into think that it’s really not that wretched.

Today I said “screw it” and just owned up to the fact that I was having a bad day, and you know what? It was OK. Sometimes I think we need permission to not pretend that everything is fine and that we’re strong and we have it all together 24/7.

Maybe, just occasionally, it’s good to go ahead and be a hot mess.

The thing about grief is that it pops up at the weirdest times…years after whatever has hurt us and we think we’ve dealt with the pain and tidied the memories away into neat little boxes…out of no where guilt and despair and sorrow overwhelm us.

I watched Frozen at my sister’s request last night…and I sobbed through the entire thing. All I could think was how incredibly unfair the hand some people have been dealt in life is, and life is NOT like the movies. I cried at a freaking Disney movie! Who does that?! Uhh...this dude. 

In Frozen the girl gets to save her sister…but what if you’re the girl and you can’t go back in time and save your sister from the horrifying things that happened to her? Unfortunately, I can’t. And as much as I rail and hate God for allowing bad things to happening to the people I love, I can’t change it. It’s not like the movies, Katy Perry was right there, no matter how badly I want it to be. I’m slowly learning (like I’m really slow…it’s taking me years) that God’s hand has been on us this whole time.  No amount of wishing is going to change someone’s story and you can’t fix it for the people you love, no matter how hard you try. You just end up sad and exhausted in the end.

So instead of pretending that I was superwoman, today I was just Liz.

When I felt like crying….I cried.

I felt exhausted and drained and sleepy….so I took a nap.

I wanted a burger instead of a salad for lunch…so I ordered one. And then I had a beer.

I couldn’t focus or think straight….so I didn’t worry about it. I just was. And it was OK. 

So, I tried something new. I cried. A lot. Heck, I’m still crying! And I talked out loud about what was bothering me. I think I may even feel a little better. I hope one of these days when you have a truly bad one, you give yourself the luxury of having a shitty day. Some days it turns out that in order to be strong, you have to allow yourself to be weak.

xo xo Liz 

Have A Case Of The Blues?

You know dear readers, I had a thought:

I concentrate so much here on Buckaroo Barbie on our strength of will, trying the very hardest that we can, giving 120% of our efforts, remaining positive and never giving up, that I think sometimes I forget that it’s OK to have an off day. And if I forget, well then, maybe you do too.

We won’t always feel on top of the world and some days our goals and To-do lists won’t inspire us, they’ll overwhelm us.

AND THAT’S OK.

Tar Babies and Tears

It’s all right to have a slow day, a time of sluggishness and a season of just blahs. Some days you’re going to want to stay on the couch, eat bon-bons and watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and maybe even cry…and giving yourself permission to do that, will only bring your inspiration and motivation back faster! It doesn’t make you any less of the wonder woman you are to have an off day, it makes you human! If you berate yourself during your time of the BLAHS you make yourself feel worse, and less like a functioning human and more like a pile of tar!! I don’t know that anyone in history has actually ever felt like a pile of tar, but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about Briar Rabbit and the Tar Baby this morning…so there you go. Deal with my weirdness people!

What To Do??

But back to having an off day, sometimes that’s our body way of telling our mind that we need a little break. Our emotional health is closely tied to our physical well-being, and vice-versa. If your mind needs some time to veg out, and your body needs a little extra TLC after all the hard work you’ve being doing, then take that little mental vacation and enjoy it! In my experience by the next day I’m rested, my batteries are charged and I’m raring to take on the world!

Buckaroo Barbie’s List of Things To Do When You Have A Case of the Blues

·      Keep a folder of pictures you find beautiful, inspiring and lovely. I save pics from my Tumblr explorations.

·      Fill up a hot water bottle, make a fire or turn on a heating pad and snuggle up! Get cozy!

·      Take a nap.

·      Go ahead and have a little cry.

·      Write in your journal or diary and just let it all out. If you don’t have one, now is the perfect time to start!

·      Watch sappy, corny movies. Or obnoxious reality TV shows if you have TV. I don’t normally condone reality shows, but when I have a bad day sometimes the only thing I want to watch is Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Say Yes To The Dress and America’s Next Top Model. So bad, yet so good.

·      Drink epic amounts of hot tea, hot coffee (unless iced is your thang and you live somewhere near to where you can go to a fancy-smanshy coffee shop) or hot chocolate.

·      Go shopping. Save your receipts!

·      Read your favorite book.

·      Take a bath, wallow in the hot water and don’t get out until you’re pruney.

·      Take a nap. Or even better, take several.

What NOT To Do

There are some things that you definitely should NOT do when you’re having a mopey, bluesy day.

Buckaroo Barbie’s List of Things NOT To Do When You Have A Case Of The Blues

·      Do NOT tell yourself you’re a failure, you never get anything accomplished or any kind of negative self-talk of any kind.

·      Don’t listen to Bob Dylan.

·      Don’t discuss important decisions or business plans with family or business partners. It has disaster written all over it.

·      Don’t play the “what-if” game.

·      Don’t go shopping.

·      Don’t talk to people who you know are always negative about their life, it’ll make you feel worse.

·      Don’t ignore your exercise, even if it’s only 10 jumping jacks!

·      Don’t forget it will get better and there is always hope, no matter how you feel right now.

So the next time you have a mopey, rotten day come up, look it squarely in the face…and go take a nap.

xo xo Liz

Photos via Tumblr and author's personal collection

PS: Adrian wrote something very similar and along the same train this morning, and neither of us knew what the other person was writing about! HAHAHA! So go check Adrian’s post out! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Adrian-Buckaroogirl/280524162956

PPS: I’ve started a weekly Quote of the Week and posted the first quote this morning! Check it out here! 

How To Recover From A Rotten Day

Buy yourself some fresh flowers.

Listen to some Italian music. It’ll make you laugh and dance.

Take a bath.

Eat breakfast for dinner. I don't just mean bacon....waffles, eggs, toast, fruit...the whole shebang!

Have a really good cry.

 You know the one you’ve been putting off? The “mascara running down your face, snot out your nose and hiccupping because you’re crying so hard”, cry.

Take your dog for a walk, ride your horse or rope the dummy.

Get a pedicure.

Watch an episode of Friends if you have TV. Joey will make you feel better about yourself.

Read your Bible and if you don’t have one, go get one! 

It’s a good thing to have lying around.

Drink a really strong, sweet cup of tea. Or add a little Bailey’s Irish Cream to your coffee. Top of the morning to you!

Know, deep in your heart, that today does not define you. Tomorrow is blank with new possibilities and you are the leading character to your story.

Tomorrow, is a new day.

xo xo Liz

Don't Forget Sis

My best friend came back home tonight. She’s only been gone for the last couple of days but when I’m having one of THOSE days it makes the time apart seem even longer.

She took one look at me, grabbed me by the hand and drug me off for some much needed sister time. We went to an awesome little diner where she made sure to stuff me in a back booth where I wouldn’t scare the other customers by my ranting, raving, crying and consuming anything that was set in front of me like a baby dinosaur.

The waitresses gave us a wide berth.

The last few days, I’ve felt off. Lost and frustrated and completely out of my mind insane. I mean, I’m naturally insane but lately it’s been ramped up a notch. I briefly wondered yesterday if I was having a quarter life crisis. Probably not, but you never know. At least I don’t like Ferraris.

I haven’t felt completely derailed or anything major, just out of sorts really. 

Cranky and petulant like a little kid that really needs a nap and doesn’t know why it’s crying. 

Yup, that’s been me the last couple of days.

And my darling little sister, who is ridiculously insightful and wise beyond her years, let me get it all out of my system. She allowed me to laugh hysterically, jump randomly from topic to topic without any connections and bemoan my miserable self. I did notice she left a big tip for the waitress when we left. Oops.

But, by the time dinner came to an end, I was back on center. Calm, full of ideas and inspiration, peaceful and ready to tackle the coming week with a smile.

I hope you have someone in your life that you can just be “YOU” with. That lets you act insane, crazy and completely out of your mind and you don’t have to apologize for it later. They understand and get you, and all the while are quietly encouraging and leading by example. And if you don’t have that special someone in your life, I hope you go out and find one. Right now.

Time and time again it’s been shoved in my face that we mimic who our friends are. We become like them. You know the bad apple adage? It’s totally true. Who we surround ourselves with is ultimately who we become. And while my little sister may be shorter than me by a good 3 inches, I look up to her. She is the most brave person I’ve ever known. She’s suffered more tragedy in her short life than many 80 year olds have and has had the sufficient strength of character to come out of it better and stronger.

She’s not perfect by any means, but then neither am I. But she does try as hard as she can to better herself, her craft, to try and be a lady, even when she doesn’t want to and she loves me whole heartedly. We are a team and lift and support each other when the other person is acting insane…kind of like I was tonight.

So all of that was to say, I hope you had a fantastic weekend, that you feel ready to take on the coming week and that you have a best friend that loves you for all the wonderful and ridiculous things that you are.

“And one other thing friend, don’t ever forget, that I love you.”

xo xo Liz

P.S. I would just like to state for the record, that I have permission from the artist to use the name of her song as this blog heading. And if you're wondering, it's off of the Highway 80 album and it's track 11. Yeah, I cry too when I listen to it.