You Beautiful Thing You

Happy Valentine’s Day Dolls and Gents!!! In all honesty, we have been stalling writing this post for the last couple of days. Not because we dread Valentine’s Day or love, or being single ON Valentine’s Day….it’s just that we honestly don’t think it’s that big of a deal!!! We wrote the couples post because it was requested, but if it hadn’t been requested we probably wouldn’t have done anything. We’ve watched our dad love our mums every day of our lives and he treats her like it’s Valentine’s Day, everyday. And Valentine’s shouldn’t just be the love shown between lovers, it should be lived out to our brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents and friends...to the people found in our everyday lives. In our family, it’s not about showy gestures this one day of the year…love is in the everyday actions.

Love should be found in the common place, in the routine and the boring. If a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates is enough to erase the memory of not being shown “commonplace” love throughout the rest of the year then we don’t want it!! Please, if you are single and “alone” on Valentines, don’t be bitter, or sad or feel like you’re missing out on something your friends in relationships are!!!!

You’re not!! If you’re single, decide to give yourself the most beautiful gift, worth way more than all the roses, chocolates and diamonds in the world combined. Fall in love with yourself. Yup, we know that sounds cliché, BUT….until you treat yourself like the most precious, worthwhile person you know, no one else will treat you that way either.

Assess yourself and your life. Are you where you want to be with your education, your career and your other relationships? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Share your strengths and talents with the world around you and work on your weak spots. Don’t fret and fuss how you don’t have a boyfriend and no one to go to the movies with…you should be so comfortable in your own skin that if you want to go see a movie, then you take your sweet a$$ to go see a movie and don’t feel sorry for yourself at all!!

When you fall in love with you and your life and focus your attention on reaching your goals and making your dreams come true, the right kind of people will eventually find you.

We promise.

So we’re not going to tell you to pamper yourself, although by all means do!! And we’re not going to tell you to curl up watching Jerry McGuire with a vat of ice cream and cry about the idea of “completing” someone….you’re enough and you matter and you shouldn’t have to go get a hot-oil massage to feel special today…today should be a great day because you’re going to focus on YOU and making your life the most exciting, barrier breaking and passion filled life that you can.

Hugs!!!

xo xo Liz and Adrian

All The Single Ladies

The other day a thought popped into my head about why I’m single, and silly-nilly me, I posted it as a status update on Facebook. The response was immediate and overwhelming. It came across like a singles ad, which I REALLY did not mean! It brought up some interesting discussions about relationships, though, with both men and women chiming in. What I said was,

“Yup!! You guessed, my name is Liz. I like fast horses, old whiskey, good lookin men with ambition (bonus if you can dance), and I have a very expensive addiction to shoes and lipstick. Please don't bother if you don't drink coffee...I hate being the man in the relationship. :) “

Uhhh yeah….reading it over again it DOES sound like a singles ad!! Ooops! When I was writing it, I was mentally going over a list of reasons of why I’m not dating. See, I’m 25 years old, single and haven’t been on a date in a year. I’m also as happy as a bird with a French fry, a fat lady in a chocolate shop and a witch in a broom factory and I'm not looking for a special someone! When most people hear that, they kind of freak out. I guess they’re worried I’ll never find true love until I’m as old as dirt. Insert sarcasm here! The truth is, I’m having a grand time being single right now. I honestly believe everyone should have a period where they’re able to be completely, selfishly and 100% focused on themselves and know what it’s like to exist as a human outside of a romantic relationship.

Lately I’ve been thinking about some of the younger Buckaroo Barbies who read this blog, and what it’s like to grow up in a culture that is constantly screaming that you’re self-worth is tied up in a romantic relationship. I remember being 13-years-old and wanting to have a boyfriend SO BADLY!! My mums met my daddy when she was only 15 years old, and I thought their love story was a real life fairy tale. I wanted a happy ending just like my mums and I thought that to be like her, I needed to meet my Prince Charming as quickly as possible. If I could go back and talk to my 13-year-old, spazzed-out, love-struck self, I would tell me to just take a chill pill and enjoy who I was at that point and time!

The reason I’m not dating now isn’t because I’m against love or think I’m too good for anyone…far from it! I do have a set of beliefs and values that I hold myself to though, and I want the person I care about to care about the same things I do. I’m waiting for that guy that is as driven, hard working and ambitious as me. I want to be spend time with a man that reminds me of my daddy and has the same values and beliefs as I do. And in the meantime, I’m not focused or spending energy on wondering who he is, where he is or when I’ll meet him. I’m looking at this point of my life as the most beautiful gift I could ever give myself: time to get to know me and cultivate characteristics and skills that are going to help me reach my dreams. Being single allows me to be selfish in a way that I can’t be when I’m in a relationship with someone.

We all know someone whose self-worth and happiness is tied up in whether they are in a relationship or not. I think because they’re not exactly comfortable with who they are as individuals, when they are in the hollowed “long-term” relationship, they’re still not completely satisfied and that affects the relationship. The most long-term relationship you’re ever going to have is with yourself. Duh moment, sorry but I had to point that out. And if you’re not in love with YOU, how can you expect someone else to love you too? If you are single right now and hating it, I would challenge you to look at it as an awesome opportunity to invest in YOURSELF. Give yourself the gift of becoming, on your own, the person you were meant to be! Give yourself over 150% to your hopes and dreams and focus all your energy on making them come true. When you’re attention is centered on something other than love or just BEING WITH SOMEONE, than the right relationship and the right person has a tendency to come along when you’re least expecting it. It’s OK to be picky and it’s OK to have standards. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

I know there are many of you who are happily married or taken, and I think that is beautiful. I don't want to come across as a "Down With Love" kind of girl because love is a wonderful thing. I love being in love! But for you single ladies….don’t think of your ‘singleness’ as a curse and don’t rush into a relationship with someone just because everyone else has a boyfriend/girlfriend. Slow down, enjoy the ride and spend some quality time with yourself….these are the years you’ll look back on with fondness.

xo xo Liz 

Photo Credit: Tumblr