Just Me

Deep breath.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

I'm just going to be me right now and real. It's a little scary. My family has this characteristic that has been passed down from generation to generation. We try to always make the best of every situation, no matter what. And sometime we refuse to admit to even our loved ones or maybe even our selves, that we aren't ok.

Right now, I'm not OK.

I'm totally miserable and sad. Two days in a row now I've read some pretty powerful blogs where the writer was honest and real and admitted to struggling with some SH*& going on in their lives. I came away touched by their rawness and then I realized, sometimes I don't let you know the real me.

I come off happy and chirpy and continuously dancing in the kitchen...but sometimes it's just not like that.

So.

Here's me. Just me.

I'm slobbing around in my sweats on my bed, dogs laying on me and making me hairy.

Totally without sleep for the last couple weeks and when I say that, I'm totally serious. That was a lot of totally's...sometimes I'm a valley girl. Dark circles, very pale skin. Ew.

When I cry my waterproof mascara doesn't work and it runs black down my face. Like right now. Not hot. Nothing like Goldie Hawn out of the Wildcats. Damn it.

I just finished finals yesterday and I think I could've done better. I hate letting myself down.

I cuss like a sailor and it makes me sad.

And most importantly I could really just use a hug from that man that smells like Axe's Snake Peel Body Wash. I don't know why they call it that because he smells like heaven and nothing like a snake. Confusing. But I'm not gonna get one of those for awhile.

And later on today sometime I will slap my own face and jerk myself out of this and decide that life isn't always sunshine and roses and that if we can't change our situation to change our attitudes, starting with my own. But right now, I'm having a really rotten time.

So there you go...that's me today. Just me


xo xo Liz