Class. An intriguing word that to my ears, has always
sounded slightly mysterious and exciting.
When I was a child I was obsessed with the concept of class
and elegance. Ok, to be perfectly honest, I still am. I am one of those weirdos
that LOVES etiquette books, style books, how-to anything books.
I found such a book from the 60’s in an old second hand shop
entitled Elegance. I poured over its
pages day after day, studying what made a classy and elegant woman and while
some things may have changed since the 60’s, most of what they had to say still
rings true. Class is timeless.
People who are classy care about something in life. Whether
they are obsessed with carpentry, horses or boating, they have a style that is
all of their own that speaks to who they are as a person on the inside. Sexy speaks only about the body
and demands that people value them on account of their outward form.
A Playboy bunny is considered sexy, and Kate Middleton is
without a doubt the epitome of class. While a Playboy bunny may illicit more
salacious attention than quiet Kate, people of greater character and integrity
will always appreciate class over sexiness.
We women have the unfortunate plight of getting less
attractive as we age while men have the totally unfair advantage of getting
better looking the older they get! Thankfully, class doesn’t fade with time or
age. Look at Audrey Hepburn for example. She remained beautiful and elegant
until the day she died, all because she was a classy woman.
What Does It
Matter?
OK, fun little description Elizabeth, but what does it
matter? Well, I’ll tell you: understanding the differences between class and
sex appeal gives me the power to act a certain way. I can make conscious
decisions about the way I act, dress, sit and walk so that I control how I come
across.
*In writing this, I don’t want to come
across as a hypocrite. I have been the most classless of women during some
points of my life, and I will be the first to admit it. I can’t get better or
grow unless I look to the future and the woman I want to be, rather than
tripping over my past.
It’s not exactly expected of men and women these days to be
classy, elegant, ladylike or gentlemanly. If you are, it sets you apart and
makes you different, which can only be a good thing!
Class goes far beyond what and how you wear your clothes or
the fine places you attend. It goes beyond your finances, schooling and outward
marks of success. Class speaks of integrity, education (which is totally
different than schooling) and character. Class cannot be bought and it is in my
mind, one of the most important things I seek to cultivate in myself.
I know people with no college education, almost no income to
spend on clothes and travel and they are classy down to their very core because
they place importance on keeping themselves educated, carry themselves with
dignity and always try to act with integrity. I know a former police chief who
is without a doubt who I first think of when I think of a classy man. He is
interested in something outside of himself (wine and running), continues his
education even though he is now retired and seeks to make those around him
comfortable by the way he speaks and acts.
It doesn’t matter how much money you have or what you do,
class is within our reach if we search for it. I want to be classy, don’t you?
What Class
Looks Like
Sexiness is instantly recognizable. It’s startling, it eye
catching and well, it’s sexy. Someone who is sexy, be they man or woman, are
generally hyper-aware of themselves and the way they are presenting themselves.
Adrian and I traveled to Nashville, TN last year for some
business meetings that related to her music. We went to a dinner meeting where
most of the people present had either written songs that you would instantly
recognize, or had performed them. One musician who was there is known for his
involvement in the Trans Siberian Orchestra. If you haven’t heard of them, look
up their version of Carol of the Bells. Amazing.
Anyway, this guy was probably one of the sexiest guys I’ve ever met. He
practically oozed sexy. You know what else? He was totally aware of it. He was vigilant
about being perceived that way at all times and it was a turn off! It didn’t
matter how attractive he was, the fact that he had some major sex appeal
couldn’t cover up the fact that he had no class.
Class can be perceived in many ways and from the length of
this post, is obviously not easy to define! It manifests itself physically,
socially and in that person’s character. Here are some of the main ways we can
seek to cultivate class in ourselves.
Dress Men and women who are classy always attempt to
dress nicely. Even if they can’t afford designer clothing, they attempt to put
together something unique, clean and elegant. They also pay special attention
to personal hygiene. Once you start looking for it, you’ll notice that classy
people always pay attention to seemingly small details in their appearance. A
good rule of thumb can be found in the old saying that my mums always reminded
Adrian and me while growing up, “It is better to be overdressed than
underdressed.” Someone with class will know however, that it is just as
inappropriate to appear dressed for a club when attending a rodeo as it is to
attend a wedding dressed for a rodeo.
Manners Class will most definitely show itself in
manners! Proper table manners, conversational skills and knowing what is
appropriate when all lend themselves to making the people around you
comfortable, and that is truly classy.
Here are some ideas when it comes to manners.
- Eating with mouth closed.
- Having good posture.
- Knowing what utensils to use at the dinner table.
- Making guests feel comfortable and relaxed.
- Not talking too loudly or causing an unneeded scene in public.
- Not swearing in public. (This is my downfall!)
- Being interested in other people.
Carriage Classy people carry themselves with
elegance and dignity. They stand up straight, they walk with purpose, they
don’t slouch and they react to the people around them properly. This may sound
like just another list of manners, but in reality, the way you carry yourself
has to do with character, what you think about yourself and your ability to
read the people around you.
Authenticity Being classy has to be a way of life, not
a mask you put on and off for special occasions or else it will come across
loud and clear and you’ll be branded as a phony. That also means being
authentic to who you are and standing up for yourself and others when needed.
Passion Classy men and women are almost always
passionate about something, be that
Unicef, ranch roping or baking. Care about something outside of yourself, your
looks and your Facebook! Find something you love and invest yourself in it.
Seek to grow, to learn and help others who are also interested in the same
thing.
Education There is a difference between schooling
and an education. You can receive an education from school, but that depends
entirely upon your attitude. An education is something you seek, day in and day
out, for the rest of your life. It’s a way of thinking about life in general,
and whether you approach life as an opportunity to learn something, rather than
just making do. Classy people keep themselves educated by staying up to date
with current events and reading lots of books, about lots of different
subjects. The easiest way to start
focusing on your education? Read.
Be Considerate Classy men and women are without a doubt
some of the most considerate people I’ve ever met. They put themselves in other
peoples’ shoes and act accordingly. They’re kind and live by the golden rule.
Living It
Thankfully, caring about class is half the battle. Knowledge
is power and being able to understand what makes someone classy gives US the
ability to implement it into our everyday lives. We will mess up, we will get
frustrated and at times we will act like classless, unmannered bores. BUT. We
are here for each other and through encouragement and never giving up, I know we
can influence the world around us.
xo xo Elizabeth
