Monday, January 20, 2014

Editing a Rough Draft

Adrian trips out the front door in her little semi-squared toed boots. Red material swirls around her legs and the sounds of the concert she is going to attend is already occupying her mind.

I sit back down with pen and paper, the number of this rough draft is now lost to me, it has been revised so many times. I cross out entire sections, write a new chapter. My tea grows cold and I ignore the ache in my back and I try and keep the worrying thoughts at bay. Recently, they crowd ever closer.

Scratch, scratch, scratch….my pen flies and my thoughts wander…

Maybe the glasses I will be getting will help me not feel as unbalanced horseback, and I won’t be scared when I ride. Maybe I’ll be able to start driving again…oh can you imagine the freedom?!

Scratch, scratch, scratch….my pen is ruthless and efficient…

I need to unpack the rest of our shop things with dad, I want to make a video for YouTube on what you need to get started braiding. God, I love these people I’ve come in contact with from Buckaroo Barbie. They’ve touched me more than I ever realized was possible in a virtual world.

Scratch, scratch, scratch…my favorite pen’s blue ink is soaked up almost instantly…

Maybe I’ll ask Em and Trev if I can come and visit, stay for a while, roll around in the snow and maybe play cowboy a little. I hear Bill Confer is shutting down his rawhide business. Where in the hell am I going to get hides? I’m not strong enough to make my own rawhide all the way through anymore…damn my body for failing me, right when it feels like I’m starting to get my feet under me.

Scratch, scratch, scratch…it’s almost musical the way the nib traces out the skeletons of unformed words…

The people I really care about will love and appreciate this book. I’m pretty sure all my old friends will despise me. I don’t care anymore though, I just can’t.

Scratch, scratch, scratch….why in God’s name did I write THAT….but this is good…

The dance, the drag, the pull, it continues. I slowly get out of my chair, massage the kink in my neck. I throw out my cold tea and take the dogs outside. I lite a cigarette and all the thoughts I’ve kept at bay come rushing in and take over. I’m back in Alberta and you’re teaching me to cut calves and every night you sing “Sunlight On Silver.” I startle back to reality when I burn myself on the end of this stupid smoke stick. I’ll deal with all that later, right now, more editing awaits me.

xo xo Liz 


  1. Wonderful, what a great post ... just love it. Editing is sometimes harder than starting, I experience the same all the time but look at how creatively you turned the nasty process of editing into a spectacular post. ~M

    1. Thank you so much Maria for the kind words!! They made my heart so happy!! Good Lord, editing is painful!! Hopefully I will get better at it :) I LOVED your post today by the way, and I found you on Bloglovin!

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  3. Liz, I get you. Keep writing. Just keep writing and don't stop. I am terrified of the editing process - you truly are your own biggest critic. It's hard to both seek your own advice and shut yourself out at the same time.

    Keep plugging away!


  4. You are so lovely! Your writing makes me feel like I am right there with you. And your Alberta reference make me feel intrigued :). Keep it up.

  5. Editing is a art all of its own, some things hurt to edit out, but it needs to be done, and others you can't believe you've written in. I love your writing.
    By the way, take it from an Alberta girl, its way warmer there in California than here in Alberta right now:)