If I could wave my Big Sister wand for all you young girls out there and make you see how incredibly and shockingly beautiful your soul is, I would do it so quickly that the magical words pouring out of my mouth would suck the very air out of the room and leave you feeling dizzy.
If there was one thing I could grant to all young women, it would be true understanding of how important you really are. How much you and your Precious Heart and your beautiful, sexy soul really are.
If I could allow you just a peek into the future when heart breaking experience will have taught you to value your soul more than your body, without the heartbreak, I would.
You Are Worth So Much More
You are worth so much more than your soft, smooth skin or how you look in skinny jeans. You are worth more than the stretch marks on your thighs or the cup size of your bra. Your body is beautiful and amazing and changing daily...and it is only a shell. A wondrous and amazing shell, true, but a shell none the less. Your soul, your heart and your character, the things that make you YOU, are what truly make you beautiful.
I am just now learning, at the ripe old age of 26 that what a man thinks of my body and face has no value when it comes to a relationship. What's important is being with a man who recognizes my sensitive writer's heart and admires my strong sense of right and wrong. What matters is a man who accompanies me to church because we share the same beliefs and is concerned about the health of my soul.
Stay close to the people who love you for who you really are, so that when the time comes and you wander off track, they can remind you that you are important because of your heart...not because your butt looks hot in those jeans.
You Are Freaking Awesome.
Repeat that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it. You’re going to meet some gorgeous boy before too long who has eyes that glow with adventure and arms that promise to carry you over the rough times….and dear, darling girl, he’s going to let you down. You might be 12, 15 or 21 when it happens but some boy is going to break your heart and leave you standing amidst the rubble of everything you thought you believed in. It will shake you to your core and leave you wondering “Why? Was it me?” When that day arrives, come visit me and I will ply you with steaming mugs of tea, enormous plates of cinnamon toast and I will remind you of a very important message your heart may have momentarily forgotten: YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME, GIRL.
Treat and think of yourself as someone who is awesome, as a person to be treasured. You are. And you are valuable because of the girl you are on the inside, not how you look on the outside. No matter what other people tell you, you deserve the best. And when your heart forgets that vitally important fact and decides to attract attention and approval based on your looks, go back and be reminded of how loved you are by the people who truly understand the true beauty of your soul.
Please, please, please, hold out for that amazing man who falls in love with the beauty of your heart, with the real you. You deserve to be cherished for the integrity of your soul, not the dimples in your cheeks. You deserve to have someone who honors you, respects you and cares about your well being more than his own. And to tell you the truth ladies, the guys who aren’t in to you for those reasons are going to try and make you feel insecure about yourself and your body. Because if your spirit and confidence is broken down enough, you’re going to feel the need to be built back up. And who will you turn to? That’s right, the person who tore you down in the first place.
Someone who is only interested in you for the shine in your hair and the red in your lips will have all the right words to say that will make you think he’s into the real you, but his actions will prove otherwise. He will make you feel that the most important thing about you is your body, because that’s what he’s into. And that, my dear friend, is a crappy game.
Don’t play it, don’t fall for it and don’t stand for it.
I had a boyfriend at one point who I thought was my very own Prince Charming in cowboy boots. He talked about respecting me, he liked my father and said all the right words. I was going through life-altering times and felt incredibly vulnerable and his attention made me feel like I mattered in a way that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Looking back at our relationship now, I just shake my head at myself. While he was saying all the pretty things I wanted to hear, he was treating me like my body was the only thing he was really into. And guess what? It was.
Girls, it’s way easier to let someone make you feel wanted and admired and beautiful than it is to wait for someone who really cares about how freaking awesome you really are on the inside. That’s the truth. It’s hard to respect yourself and it’s hard to teach people to value the real you. And no matter how much I want to wave my magic wand and give you a glimpse into the future so that you know I’m giving it to you straight, I can’t. Only YOU can decide that you are worth it, and only YOU can determine how you will let other people treat you. What I can do is share with you the moments I have experienced myself and keep reminding you (and myself), at every turn, you are worth so much more.
xo xo Liz